Felis Catus vs. Canis Lupus Familiaris (Cat vs. Dog) "EPISODE" 1

Hello my friends! Today, I would like to discuss the all famous, the all powerful battle of the Felis Catus vs. Canis Lupus Familiaris!... the cat vs. the dog. Now I have only been on this planet for about 42 doggie years, but in that time, I have observed the hatred between these two species to be very strong, and at times rather disturbing.

In fact! I read an article in the paper this morning about yet another Cat on Dog hate crime.



A little snippet from the article I thought you might find interesting.


I found myself perplexed and asking the question, "How did this all start?!" My parents never told me anything negative about cats, in fact I grew up with 6 cats, and I adored them all. I used to clean them, play with them, watch over them (they did like to cause trouble every now and then, especially when on that cat-nip stuff!), but I would take a bullet for any one of my little kitty brothers and sisters. Those little fluff balls are just so darn adorable!



So, again I ask, "How did this all start?!" So being "The Go 2 Dog" that I am, I went to the books to find the answers to these perplexing questions, "Doggie Style".


According to Wikidpedia, Cats are described as so:

"The cat (Felis catus), also known as the domestic cat or house cat to distinguish it from other felines, is a small carnivorous species of crepuscular mammal that is valued by humans for its companionship and its ability to hunt vermin, snakes and scorpions."
Wikidpedia




That sounds pretty cool to me! Hunting snakes and scorpions, now that sounds like an animal I could get down and jiggy with. (doggie style)

Now for the dog!


“Dogs are valued for their intelligence. Being highly adaptable animals themselves, dogs have learned to do many jobs as required by humans over the generations. Dogs are employed in various roles across the globe, proving invaluable assets in areas such as search-and-rescue; law enforcement (including attack dogs, sniffer dogs and tracking dogs); guards for livestock, people or property; herding; Arctic exploration sled-pullers; guiding the blind and acting as a pair of ears for the deaf and a great many other roles which they may be trained to assume.”Wikipedia

Thus far, we have uncovered that cat's are freaking awesome and that dog's are freaking awesome. So, why haven't we been able to co-exist in peace? I was puzzled, but then I found the missing link to the story.... there was a sneaky culprit at large who sabotaged the harmonious balance between canine and feline, for it's own greedy interest... CHEEZzzzz
DUHN DUHN DUHNNNNNNNNN!!! (Dramatic them music, VERY effective when said out loud!)

TO BE CONTINUED...........

When sniffing goes too far...

Since my last blog, I have received several emails and pictures of my canine brothers and sisters being so inspired that they decided to take sniffing into their own paws.  

My friends I report:  DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME! It can be dangerous... even deadly!  

In the following, I will go over the Do's and Don'ts of sniffing.

WARNING:  Some of the following images are disturbing and are not suitable for puppies under 3 months or Chihuahuas of any age.

DISCLAIMER:  Before partaking in the act of sniffing another rear-end, please consult with your local veterinarian.  

Pinto from Texas, USA

Was found shortly after this picture was taken. (He was rushed to a nearby hospital for a full recovery.)

Gilbert from Ada, Oklahoma, USA

Was discovered in this position after being stuck for 4 hours.  This is the result of sniffing alone.  Please be advised that this is and can be extremely uncomfortable, and sometimes not reversible!  (He was rushed to a nearby hospital for a full recovery. )

Harry and Sally of Hollywood, CA, USA

This picture was taken after Harry awoke from a long nap.  Please do not attempt sniffing while groggy.  This is the result! (He was rushed to a nearby hospital for a full recovery.)

My Friends, as you can see, sniffing is not to be taken lightly.  It is a privilege and a skill that must be honed.  

There are places to go and rules to abide by:

#1.  Sniff only within the same weight category.

#2.  Sniff only in designated locations such as:

• Backyards
  
• Doggie Parks
  
• Veterinarian Waiting Rooms
  

NOTE: Please only participate in sniffing circles based off of your skill level. 

That concludes today's lesson in Sniffing 101... "Doggie Style."

Please Sniff Responsibly and Don't Sniff and Run at the same time or serious rear-ending can occur, such as this:

Your Scholar Hard at Work

The Go 2 Dog

P.S.  THEY WERE BOTH RUSHED TO A NEARBY HOSPITAL FOR A FULL RECOVERY!

Where Do Dogs Come From?

So, yesterday I was busy being a dog, which means I chased my non-existent tail, licked myself clean, and smelled another dog's butt!! Now the all important question is, Why don't humans do this? It's not some kind of creepy fetish just to let you know. I would like to take a moment to inform you that this rubbing of the paws thing is quite primitive; I mean I've been trying to train my human companions to sniff butts for almost 4 years now and they still haven't learned.

The closest activity that humans par-take in is in sniffing a fermented grape juice which poisons their bodies and makes them do crazy things...so over all 'A' for the sniffing, but an 'F' for the location, but we'll save the rest of this epiphany for another day.

Today's lesson is on how the Canis lupus familiaris came to be.

Let's explore what the humans think...

"Molecular systematics indicate that the domestic dog (Canis lupus familiaris) descends from one or more populations of wild wolves (Canis lupus). As reflected in the nomenclature, dogs are descended from the wolf and are able to interbreed with wolves." ~ Wikipedia

Which means this...

mated with this....

and VIOLA!! The 'dog' was born!! Very, very irritated....

Okay okay!! So, I might have exaggerated a nosha scoesh......but read on to learn what The Discovery Channel and National Geographic neglected to show you!!

THE EVOLUTION OF THE DOG!!!

For many millinia, the wolf roamed the forest loyal and dedicated to his own species. When one day he saw a butt between the trees and proceeded to sniff...'Doggie Style.'

  SNIFF SNIFF!!!...!!

Thus after a long night and 2 months later...
The Neapolitan Mastiff was born...


And so started the spreading of the seed!

okay, okay! This might not be entirely accurate, but the pictures are fun!!
And so concludes today's lesson....

Sniff more butts and enjoy evolution!!

~ Your Scholar Hard At Work
The Go 2 Dog

Every Dog Has His Day!!

"Every Dog Has His Day!" That's what some guy somewhere said, and I do that by treating myself to a Manni and Peddi! Do you like? I think the blue brings out my big brown eyes. How could you not fall in love with these puppies? (Wait a second! Is it weird, that I'm referencing my own species? I mean humans say "these babies." The most "advanced" species on the planet... and even with your multi-alphabetical dictionary, all you can come up with is a reference to a drooling, co-dependent, not house broken, Mono-syllabic "mini-you?" How Discriminatory! I mean you never say "Hey, check out these Old People." Well, sometimes you do, but usually in a very discriminatory way; you should be ashamed of yourself... I digress.)

At this very moment my adorable two legged house companions are preparing my afternoon snack; which I have learned I will only obtain after performing absurd circus tricks.
Such as:

1. The raising of a paw "Shake"
2. Relaxing "Sit"
3. Sleeping "Lie Down"
4. and Ninjuitsu "Crawl"

After I have performed and the crowd has honored my magnificence, my Flaxseed Oil & Taurine Chicken Breast Jerky, packaged by Dogswell (The greatest Treats in the WORLD), will be presented to me with a side of some deliciously crisp, chilled VOSS water. I will thoroughly enjoy eating and lapping-up this delicious meal "Doggie style," presently the only style I have........?..!

Until next time my wonderful, adorable, and loving fans.
~Bon Appetite!

Hellllloooooo World!!!!

Hey... I mean ruff, bow-wow, grrr and woof. I'm here at last world and I understand this whole internet thing, and it is my vow to connect MAN AND CANINE! *Muwhahahahah Muwhahahahha (p.s. It's a Sinister Good Laugh... not a sinister bad laugh.) So a little about muaw: I'm 2 feet tall, have golden straight fur, amber eyes and a tail that makes the boys and girls blush. I'm not ashamed, go ahead... stare if you must. Any-who more about me, this blog is going to be my playground where I can share my exciting adventures, likes and dislikes and the hottest places in town to play, eat, and travel to. Stick around and check out my "Doggie Style" as I peruse around town and uncover all of the secret lounges, find the finest cuisine and relax in the beautiful out-doors. Well, until next time Chow, Avoir, Aloha, Auf Wiedersehen and Good Night to all and to all A WONDERFUL NIGHT!